High Risk.....

So I chose on Wednesday last week to put myself on bed rest. This decision was made after I worked myself up into a frenzie. I dont like the way my situation as a high risk patient is being handled. So I took matters in to my own hands, and I made an apt to see a high risk specialist today. At 1:00 pm today I go see Dr. Steven Roth. Apparently he comes highly reccommended by my Lupus doc...Dr. Beals. And I pretty much listen to anything she has to say. Well because she is a genius.



T.M.I. ALERT.....



I bleed pretty much every day. Mostly when I wipe. However it is there. And my O.B. Dr. Kelley told me that I should expect to pass at least one more clot that they were able to see on my last ultra sound. So last night after a week of waiting, I think I finally got to some of it. haha It always freaks me out, even when they tell me to expect it. So today I hold my breathe and pray that the baby is still in there.

You see my pregnancy symptoms have been this....Extreme fatigue, sore boobs, and slight cramping. Well the fatigue seems to be fading away. Of course that could be the fact that I am in bed all the time. And my boobs are starting to lose their constant soreness. And well the cramping is a constant thing that could be the signs of something bad. So what I am trying to say is...I wish and I cant believe I am about to say this but....I sort of wish I had more symptoms. Then I would know that the baby is still alive and well. This is such a guessing game. And I dont feel I can relax until I see it on another ultra sound. At one point I think Eric estimated that I got an ultrasound every 4 days. haha I am so okay with that though. This has been really difficult. I cant seem to get on the positive track. I hope that once I get to the second tri-mester that my mind can shift to positive mode. They say once you get there, you have hit a major milestone. I am a week away from my 12 weeks. And I guess technically the end of those 12 weeks would put me at 4 months. So I have to be patient. And I have to hope for the best.



Everyone seems to be super happy for us. So that makes me happy. And I took advantage of my Aunt Lucy last night and had her make me tacos. I want nothing but spicy foods. And I knew she would make them for me if I asked. And of course my sister and Eric took care of me constantly last week and throughout the weekend. So I can not complain.



Now, we just wait.......